Today we
begin the celebration of Holy Week, a very special time when we
reflect on the events that lead us through the death and resurrection
of Jesus; events which changed the course of history forever. Because
of these events we can now go to heaven when we die. It is that
simple.
We begin with
a short account of Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem, hailed by the
people as a great prophet. They threw down palm branches in front of
him and shouted ‘Hosanna! Blessings on him who comes in the name of
the Lord.’ Yet within a few days everything changed. He was
betrayed for money, illegally tried, then tortured and killed. Today
we read the full account of his passion. It is the main focus of our
mass.
Even though
it is a sad event that we remember, it is also a day of celebration,
because what we remember is the wonderful event that made it possible
for us to experience an eternal life of happiness and total
fulfillment, after this one. That is so important, because if we
couldn’t hope for a better life after this one, it would be very
hard to keep going a lot of the time.
Everyone
suffers, as we know; there are no exceptions. Probably one of the
most difficult things for any of us to experience when we are
suffering, is the sense that we have been abandoned by everyone.
But even if everyone else seems to abandon us, at least we can always
turn to God. But where do we turn if God disappears too? There is
nowhere left to go. This is the worst kind of suffering, verging on
despair. God never abandons us, but sometimes we may feel that He
has.
Just before
Jesus’ death on the cross, he cries out: ‘My God, my God, why
have you abandoned me?’ What does this mean? It is the beginning of
Psalm 22 which is a Psalm that ends in victory, but it can also be
understood in a different way. It seems to point out that even Jesus
felt completely abandoned by the Father. He felt totally alone.
Why would God
the Father hide himself from Jesus at the time when Jesus most needed
to know He was there? Perhaps it was so that Jesus could experience
this worst kind of suffering, the suffering of believing that you
have been abandoned even by God. By experiencing this, Jesus is
brought to the farthest extreme of suffering. After this there is no
suffering that he has not experienced and this means that he can
understand us in every kind of suffering we go through, even the
feeling of being abandoned by God, because he has been there. We can
no longer say, ‘You don’t know what it’s like!’ because he
does.
Even though
sometimes we may feel we have been abandoned by God, in fact
we have not. But sometimes God allows us to go through this for
reasons only known to God. It seems to be part of what forms us, even
though it is very difficult and we recoil from it. Many of the saints
went through this feeling of abandonment, including Mother Teresa.
Here is something from her own writings to her spiritual director:
Now Father—since 49 or 50 this
terrible sense of loss—this untold darkness—this loneliness—this
continual longing for God—which gives me that pain deep down in my
heart.—Darkness is such that I really do not see—neither with my
mind nor with my reason.—The place of God in my soul is
blank.—There is no God in me.—When the pain of longing is so
great—I just long & long for God—and then it is that I
feel—He does not want me—He is not there.—...God does not want
me.—Sometimes—I just hear my own heart cry out—‘My God’ and
nothing else comes.—The torture and pain I can’t explain.—p1.
—Mother Teresa: Come be my Light, (edit.) Brian Kolodiejchuk, London: Rider Books, 2007.
That is not
what you expect to hear from someone like Mother Teresa, who was such
a light of hope for so many people, yet God allowed her to go through
this darkness too.
One of the
hardest aspects of suffering is that we can see no point to it. It
just seems pointless and cruel. If we understood that it had a
particular purpose, that would make it easier, but we usually don’t.
But in God’s overall plan, everything we go through can serve a
purpose, sometimes bringing families closer together, or helping
people grow in their faith. But sometimes we will only see that later
on when we look back. At the time it just seems meaningless and we
often end up crying out in anger, ‘God, why are you doing this to
me?’
Another
difficulty is that we feel so helpless. We cannot stop it. How many
people would have gladly exchanged places with someone they love who
is suffering. Not being able to do anything about their loved one’s
suffering is a martyrdom in itself. That is when we turn and look at
the cross. It reminds us that this is also what Jesus went through;
the feeling of total abandonment by God the Father, at the time when
he needed him most. When you feel this way, focus on the cross. Hold
one in your hands if you can and remember that Jesus went through the
same suffering. That is when we ask Jesus for the grace to keep
going, even though we do not understand.
Finally, I
want to mention Our Lady. She also was at the foot of the cross.
Years before she had been told by the angel Gabriel that Jesus would
be great and would reign forever as king. He would be called Son of
the Most-High God. What had happened to all these promises now, as
she watched Jesus come to the end of his life before her eyes?
Although Mary must have suffered terribly with all she had to
witness, she didn’t give up hope. She believed that what God had
said would come true and she hoped and believed even without
understanding. God invites us to do the same; to hope even when we
don’t understand. To trust that in the end it will make sense.
The end of
Psalm 22, which begins with the cry of abandonment, ‘My God, my
God, why have you abandoned me?’ ends with the following words:
The Lord reigns, the ruler of nations.
Before him all the prosperous of the earth will bow
down,
Before him will bow all who go down to the dust.
And my soul will live for him, my children will serve
him;
People will proclaim the Lord to generations still to
come,
His righteousness to a people yet unborn.
These things the Lord has done. (Ps 22:28-31)
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