In
December 2005 it was announced on the news that a man called Denis
Donaldson, one of Sinn Féin’s top men (Sinn Féin was the
political wing of the IRA), confessed to having been a British spy
for the previous twenty years. People were amazed that this
could have happened. The man obviously could not live with this any
more and so he went public. He then had to go into hiding, and sadly,
though not surprisingly, he was murdered four months later. God be
good to him. I remember thinking at the time that he must now be
living in terrible fear. Fear of being hunted down and killed. He had
betrayed many, and now he would be afraid of what they would do to
him. I couldn’t help feeling sorry for him.
2000
years earlier on Holy Thursday night, out of fear the Apostles had
all abandoned Jesus, who they believed was the Son of God. Judas had
betrayed him for money. Peter tried to be faithful, but ended up
publicly swearing that he never knew Jesus. They all betrayed him.
Now after Easter they are locked in the upper room, afraid. Why are
they afraid? First because they could face the same punishment as
Jesus since they were his associates. If you remember in St. John’s
Gospel, after Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, it says that some
time later they had a dinner for him. Many people came, not only to
see Jesus, but also to see Lazarus who had been raised from the dead.
Wouldn’t you?! But it also says that the authorities decided it
would be best to get rid of Lazarus as well as Jesus. 'Tie up any lose
ends', as we would say. So, the Apostles had good reason to be afraid,
from a human point of view.
Perhaps
they were also afraid of what God might do to them. They had betrayed
the Son of God. It is a very human response to be afraid of God when
we feel we have betrayed him in some way, by the way we live, or by
something we have done.
Then
something beautiful happens. Jesus is suddenly standing with them in
the room and he says: ‘Peace be with you.’ The first thing he
does is to take away their fear. There are no words of condemnation
for having abandoned him a few days before. There are no words of
judgement, about how they were unable to be faithful. Instead: ‘Peace
be with you.’ ‘It’s alright.’
I
don’t know about you, but I can certainly say that I have often
felt that I have betrayed Jesus and indeed sometimes wish I was not a
priest, when my own sinfulness gets the better of me. And in case you
think I am just trying to be pious by saying this, I am not. I am a
sinner, just like anyone else. That is one thing that God has left me
under no illusions about. Sometimes I think it would be better for me
not to be a priest as I would not have to deal with what is sacred. I
could run and hide, so to speak. Think of Peter when Jesus worked the
miracle of the great catch of fish. Peter’s reaction was, ‘Leave
me Lord, I am a sinful man’ and what was Jesus’ response? ‘Do
not be afraid.’ Now after the resurrection, after the betrayal,
injustice and panic, when Jesus appears to the Apostles, the first thing
He does is to put them at ease. ‘Peace be with you.’
Each
time in the mass when we recall this wish of Jesus to give us his
peace—which is not just a universal prayer for peace, but a
reminder of what Jesus said to his followers—He is saying, ‘Do
not be afraid, because I am not here to condemn you, even if you
deserve to be condemned. Peace be with you.’ God only wants us to
come closer to him and to know that He is not going to act as we do
to each other, with frowns, or giving out. He knows what we are like.
He knows that we betray him, but He still tells us to be at peace. I
find that very comforting.
Think
too of Thomas, who in his grief at the death of Jesus, would not take
the words of others to convince him that Jesus was alive. When you
are grieving you don’t want someone else to give you false hope,
because it is too painful. And then when Jesus did appear to him, He
was so kind in helping him to believe. No giving out, but instead
Jesus offered Thomas to put his finger into his wounds, so that he
would believe. No condemnation for not being good enough; only
encouragement. That is so characteristic of Jesus in how he dealt
with people. Always compassion, mercy, love and encouragement.
Today
is also known as ‘Divine Mercy Sunday’. Let me tell you one short
story which to me says it all. There is a story told of a young
soldier in Napoleon’s army who was tired of war and wanted to go
home. He decided to desert the army, but he was caught. The
punishment for desertion was death. Now this man was the only son of
his mother who was now widowed. His mother happened to work in
Napoleon’s house and the day before his execution she managed to
get to see Napoleon in person. She pleaded for her son and told him
that he was the last thing she had in this world. The mother begged
Napoleon to have mercy on the man. Napoleon said in reply, ‘He
doesn’t deserve to be shown mercy’. But the mother replied to
Napoleon, ‘If he did deserve it, it wouldn’t be mercy.’
God’s
mercy is a gift. We don’t deserve it, but God longs to show us his
mercy and that is one of the reasons He appeared to St. Faustina and
asked her to spread this devotion to his mercy, because God does not
want us to live in fear, but to be assured that any effort on our
part to live as He asks, is enough. We will never manage to live
perfectly, but as long as we are striving to grow closer to God, that
is enough. God has created us to be with him and God will do
everything possible to make that happen, except force us. There is
nothing we can do, which God will not forgive if we ask him. That is
God’s promise to us. All we have to do is reach out to him.
‘Peace
be with you. It is I. Do not be afraid.’
No comments:
Post a Comment