There
is a tradition I came across in Bosnia, where a couple getting
married bring a crucifix to the church. The priest says a prayer of blessing over the cross and when the wedding is over the
couple bring the cross to their new home and place it in a prominent
position. The idea is that they will come before the cross in their
sufferings and difficulties and ask Jesus to help them. They will not
run away from their problems, but face them and ask for God’s help
to work through them and most importantly, that Jesus Christ be at
the center of their home. One of my sisters did this at her wedding.
Today
we are being constantly bombarded with the message that you shouldn’t
have to suffer, that you should have everything your way, that you
shouldn’t have to make sacrifices, sometimes even for your
children. This is the complete opposite of what Christ teaches us,
which means we have to decide who we are following. Am I following
the way of Jesus Christ, which is difficult but so worthwhile, or am
I following the way of the world, which tells me only my fulfillment is important? This has also become a modern mentality with
marriage. If things are not working out, then move on, but that is not
the teaching of Christ. Sometimes marriages don’t work out,
but divorce and separation should be the last possible resort. It
always troubles me when I hear a couple who are not long married,
going through difficulties and the word divorce is already being
used. The problem is that it has become part of our thinking. Currently in the US, one in four
marriages break up within five years. That means that marriage is in
crisis in this country.
The
word sacrifice is at the heart of what we believe. Jesus sacrificed
himself for us. He gave everything. We are called to sacrifice
ourselves for each other. A husband and wife are meant to lay down their lives for each other and sacrifice themselves for
their children. I am meant to sacrifice my life for the people God
asks me to serve. That means that it is not about me being fulfilled,
but about me giving of myself.
Moses
said the same thing to the people in his time, after he had been
given the Ten Commandments. He said, “Choose today whom you wish to
follow. Choose life or death, blessing or curse. Follow the Lord or
not, but make up your mind.”
In
the book of Revelations, Jesus uses very strong words. He says:
Here
is the message of the Amen, the trustworthy, the true witness… I
know about your activities: how you are neither cold nor hot. I wish
you were one or the other, but since you are neither hot nor cold,
but only lukewarm, I will spit you out of my mouth’ (Rev 3:14-16).
In
another translation it says, “I will vomit you out of my mouth.”
That is very strong language. The Lord was not afraid to shock us and
he still isn’t. He simply wants to make us wake up to reality. In
order to grow, our focus must be on the Lord and not just on our own
fulfillment.
Christianity
is unusual in that it does not try to run away from suffering, or to
rise above it, in any way. Rather it teaches us that suffering is
part of the path that brings us to God. This is something we have
always found difficult to understand. Two thousand years ago it was
just as hard to understand. Peter is horrified when Jesus announces
to them that he is going to suffer and be put to death and he tries
to talk Jesus out of it. He says, “Lord, this must not happen to
you. People won’t believe you, people will turn away from you. You
are to be the King and all people will bow down to you.” And Jesus
said, “Get behind me Satan (enemy) for the way you think is not
God’s way, but man’s.” Jesus was saying to him, “You don’t
understand this, but it has to be this way. If you want to follow me
you will suffer too.” Suffering has its place, even though it makes
no sense to us.
When
we suffer we often cry out to God, “Why have you done this to me? I
shouldn’t have to suffer.” I used to hear this all the time when
I worked in the hospital. People say, “Fr., why has God done this
to me, what did I ever do wrong?” as though this was a punishment.
We forget the line from Scripture that says, “If anyone wants to
follow me, let him renounce himself, take up his cross and follow
me.” Does this mean that we shouldn’t try to get rid of
suffering? Of course not. We should do everything we can to help
those who are suffering and to make our world a better place, but we
will never be fully rid of it, it is simply part of this life.
Perhaps
what is most important is why the Lord asks us to follow this
path. It seems to be some kind of doorway we have to pass through,
which helps to form us as people, and which brings us closer to God.
It is not just suffering for the sake of suffering, which would be
sadistic. The death of Jesus led to his rising from death and winning
eternal life for all people. That’s what we have to remember. If we
are allowed to suffer, it is because through it, God will lead us on
to something much greater, although we may not see this until the
next life. Padre Pio used to say that if we understood how powerful
suffering was, we would pray for it.
We
say that we are followers of Christ? Do you have a crucifix in your
home? If you don’t, maybe it’s time you got one. By having a
crucifix in your home where people can see it, you are saying “I
belong to Jesus Christ.” I believe in what he has done for me;
Jesus Christ is Lord for me.” We have no reason to be ashamed of
what we believe in. Acknowledging the way of the cross is also a
recognition of the world to come. If there was nothing after this
life, then the way of the cross would be meaningless. But what it is
saying is that the struggles we go through and the sacrifices we have
to make in this life are worthwhile, because they are leading to
something greater. That’s why we keep our eyes fixed on the world
to come. If that is our ultimate destiny, then everything we have to
sacrifice to follow the Way of Jesus is worthwhile.
Recently
I was watching a documentary about how they caught Joaquin Guzman,
“El Chapo,” the drug lord who ran the Sinaloa cartel. What was so
sad about him and the others caught up in these drug cartels, is that
they invested so much in gaining everything for this life. They were
found with huge quantities of cash and jewels and they were prepared
to kill and butcher others to get it. They don’t seem to have any
sense of the purpose of our life here on earth. Apart from being
evil, it is also very sad. Ironically, many of them also had big
chapels built in their homes. What a contradiction!
“Unless
you take up your cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.”
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