A
few years ago I had to go to our national seminary for a meeting,
Maynooth. Before the meeting began I met three young men who were
studying to be priests for our diocese and they invited me to stay on
after the meeting for Evening Prayer and supper; so I did. In
the evening I found myself in the chapel praying alongside 80 young
men who were studying to be priests and it was wonderful to hear all
these men singing to God and praying the Psalms together, knowing
that they were dedicating their lives to serve God. At a time when it
is not easy to be a priest it made me ask myself what on earth could
draw them? The answer of course is God. The Spirit of God
inspires people and moves people when we don’t expect it and often
in ways we don’t expect either. But the Spirit doesn’t shout
aloud like the news-papers do. The Spirit works quietly, but
very powerfully.
I
am often asked, especially by younger people, why I didn’t choose
to get married and instead went on for the priesthood? Actually
the way they usually put it is to say, ‘Did you not like
girls?’ And I always say, ‘Of course I was drawn to get
married, but the call of God was the stronger one.’ That is
the only way I can explain it.
The
year I began in the seminary was the year the first major scandal in
our Church broke. The bishop of my own diocese, who lived just
down the road from where I grew up, had fathered a child. That
was 24 years ago and there have basically been scandals ever since
and most of them much more serious. During my time in the
seminary it was very disheartening with all the stories about child
abuse in the papers for the first time, but it made all of us think
carefully about why we were becoming priests and it still makes me
think about why I continue as a priest. The reason more or less
remains the same: I believe God called me and continues to call me to
serve him in this way. Most of the time I’m not even sure I
understand the calling or even what exactly the Lord wants me to do,
but the ongoing call is unmistakable.
When
I was nineteen I was invited to go to a prayer meeting in my hometown
of Galway. At the time I wasn’t practicing my faith, but I was
searching. At this prayer meeting I met 50 or 60 young people
praying the rosary, singing hymns and reading Scripture. This
was completely new to me and I was drawn to it. I could see that
their faith was real and I was intrigued by it. These young
people basically taught me how to pray and taught me that it was good
to start the day by giving 10-15 minutes to God in prayer. So I
began to do the same. Shortly after I began attending this
prayer meeting they held what is known as a ‘Life in the Spirit’
seminar. This is a series of about 8 talks on the reality of the
power of God’s Spirit—the Holy Spirit—and how that same Spirit
is just waiting for us to be open to him so that He can set fire to
our faith, so to speak. So I began doing this seminar and was
curious to know what, if anything, would happen. On the fifth
night the people there prayed with each of us—just like the
Apostles did—that we would receive a fresh outpouring of the
Spirit. I remember being a bit disappointed at the time, because
nothing particularly amazing seemed to happen to me. I felt
peaceful, but not unduly so. However, in the days and weeks that
followed I suddenly noticed all kinds of things happening. It
was as though someone had flicked a switch and turned on the
power. Suddenly my faith became alive in a way that it had never
been before. The Scriptures began to speak to me in a profound
way and I had a great desire to spend a lot more time in prayer. I
also noticed that I began to hear the words of the mass as though I
had never heard them before and I was completely blown away with
it. Other people who did this Life in the Spirit seminar had
similar experiences, the most common being that their faith became
alive as never before. That was 27 years ago and the experience
really changed the course of my life. A few years after
that I began studying to be a priest.
Today
when I look around and see some of the problems in our Church, I
think back on what the Lord has led me through and I am reminded that
our Church is in good hands, because it is not in the hands of human
beings but in the hands of the Most High God. Those of us who
try to serve in it are only instruments and often not very good
instruments, but it doesn’t matter as God does not depend on us to
get everything right. God is not asking us to succeed, only to
be faithful.
As
we celebrate the coming of the Spirit at Pentecost, when the
disciples’ faith was ‘switched on’, we turn once again to God’s
Spirit and pray that He will help us never to lose heart, never to
become discouraged, but to remember that God knows what He is doing.
When we have the gift of the Spirit, which we have since our Baptism
and Confirmation, we have everything. The guidance, wisdom and
courage we need are there for the asking. It is for us to try
and remain open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. If we begin to
rely only on our own expertise, our own ability, we will soon find
that we come up short. If, on the other hand, we continue to
seek the guidance of the Spirit, then we have nothing to fear, even
though we may not know exactly what we are to do. God shows us what
we need to do, as we need to know it. Most of the time we are
not allowed to see very far ahead, but neither were the
Apostles. They were just told to go and preach the Gospel, and
that is what they did.
The
Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name
will
teach you everything
and
remind you of all that I have said to you (John 14:26).
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