Feast of the Holy Family (Gospel: Matt 2:13-15, 19-23) Our imperfect families

 

My family lived in Dublin until I was six years old. One time when I was about five I was brought to a party of a school friend, but for some reason I decided that I didn’t like the party and that I wanted to go home. I figured that the best way to do this was secretly. So I told my friend that I would hide out in the yard and that he should come and try to find me after a few minutes. When I got outside I climbed over the wall, made my escape and headed home. The only problem was that I had no idea how to get home. So I headed off and asked a mail-man how to get to York Road, in Dun Laoghaire, where we lived. He looked at me suspiciously, but told me where to go. When I finally arrived home I found a big police motorbike in the front drive. The police officer looked out the door and said, ‘It’s ok. We have found him.’ Maybe that’s where my love of motorcycles began! Everyone was out looking for me. My poor parents were not the better for this experience.  Family life is not easy.

 

This is a feast day which I think can often make us feel disappointed with our own families, although we don’t admit it, because it seems to tell us that our families are not what they should be. Things go wrong and we drive each other crazy. Someone gets into trouble and lets the family down. Marriages don’t always work out. We are afraid what others will think of us.

 

Then we are presented with the holy family, who we imagine were living in bliss all the time. That is not reality. They were poor. When Jesus was born they were homeless. Then with a new baby they had to flee to Egypt to escape an attempt on the child’s life and became refugees. When Jesus was brought to the temple, Simeon told them he was destined to be a sign that would be rejected. He would not be a success. Who wants to hear that their child will be rejected by people? Later they lost him for three days. Can you imagine the stress of losing one of your children for three days?

 

So why are they presented to us as a model? because they had their priorities right. God was at the center of this family. It was the right environment for the person of Jesus to grow and mature in. Jesus had to grow up as a person just as all of us do. He had to learn to be responsible, to read and write and learn the Jewish traditions and that takes a long time. It involves a lot of learning for each of us, and a lot of patience and sacrifice on the part of our parents, but how we are formed is vital. There is an African proverb which says, ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’ We all have a part to play, even if that is just encouraging those who are struggling. If there are young families around you who are struggling financially, especially one parent families, look out for them. There is a couple I know who were telling me recently that at one stage, because one of their children was sick, they lost their home in order to pay hospital bills. The husband told me that for several months they lived on next to nothing. We never know how people are struggling and we must look out for each other.

 

We know almost nothing about the first thirty years of Jesus’ life, but no doubt it was very important for his growing and maturing as a person, and to help him be ready for the mission that He lived out for the last three years of his life, teaching people about God and sacrificing himself for us.

 

The main role of our families is to provide a safe, loving environment for us to grow up in, so that we will blossom as people and learn how to deal with the world. None of us come from a perfect family, but that doesn’t matter. It is easy to become discouraged, thinking about how things might have been, or should be, but the bottom line is that we are the way we are. We come from the kind of imperfect families that we come from. The path through our lives often takes unexpected turns and things can work out a lot worse than we had intended. Does it matter? Not in the eyes of the Lord. The Lord is not the one to say, ‘You should be different.’ That is what people will say, but that is not what the Lord says. He is always the one who encourages us, reassures us and gives us new strength to keep going.

 

Think of all the people that Jesus came across in the Gospels. He took them exactly as they were, including many people who were causing public scandal. It didn’t matter what faith or cultural background they came from. He always showed great sensitivity to their dignity. Satan discourages, but God always encourages. Jesus called Satan ‘the Accuser.’ He continually accuses us and tries to shame us and make us give up. But Jesus does the opposite. He is always the one to encourage us and reassure us of his presence. What is important is not how we should be, but that we remain open to God. If we are listening and open, then the Lord can lead us forward. All God needs is our openness. Everything that we go through plays a part in forming us as people. The only thing that is important is that we are willing to get up again, to begin again and turn to the Lord for help, as often as is necessary. 

 

If God is not at the center of your family, maybe it’s time to bring him into your family. Is there a crucifix in your home? If not, why not? Are you ashamed or embarrassed to say who you belong to, who is Lord of your life? Apart from God, our life is meaningless. Do you ever read the word of God with your family? If you think this seems over religious, think about how much time you spend watching TV, filling your mind with worldly and often sinful things. Why not read a chapter from one of the Gospels at the end of your main meal together? Pray grace together.

 

There is a wedding tradition which I came across many years ago, from Croatia, if I’m not mistaken. When a couple get married, they have a crucifix blessed at the wedding ceremony and then they bring it to their home. They place it in a prominent place to remind them that God is with them in their marriage. When they are struggling they are to come before the crucifix to ask God for his help. This is the balance that God invites us to have. God must be at the center. Only in God will we find the strength we need to keep going and the very meaning for our existence. Without God our life is meaningless.

 

God understands that family life is not easy, but that is also why He invites us to keep turning to him and asking for his help. That is why the sacrament of marriage is so important, because it is inviting God to be part of that marriage, not just to bless the couple on their wedding day, but to be with the couple throughout their whole life. God wants to help us, but we must allow him to help us too. Our families may be far from perfect, but God can still work through them to help us come closer to him.

I want to finish with this story about a couple I came to know here in Florida. Maria and John (not their real names) got to know each other in high-school and got into a lustful relationship. She became pregnant and graduated six months pregnant. They decided to get married for the sake of the child, but he said they had no love for each other and the first ten years of their marriage was miserable. They endured each other and spent as much time apart as they could. But after 10 years they both started to take an interest in their faith. They decided they would try to live their marriage exactly as it says in the Scriptures, following what God has laid out for marriage, the role of the father and the role of the mother. He said within a short time things started to change and they actually fell in love for the first time. That was over twenty years ago and he said they have had a wonderful marriage ever since.

 

God knows exactly what will work and He tells us what will work. There is an order to God’s creation and if we listen to what He tells us, it works and will help us more than anything else. God wants things to work out for us, but we must listen.

 

Remember what Jesus said,

“Whoever hears these words of mine and puts them into practice, is like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain came down, the streams rose and the wind blew, and beat against that house, yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.

But everyone who hears these words and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose and the wind blue and beat against that house and it fell with a great crash.” (Matt 7:24-27).

 

'When they had fulfilled all the prescriptions of the law of the Lord, they returned to their own town of Nazareth. The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom and the favor of God was upon him. '(Luke 2:39-40)

 

4th Sunday Advent Yr A (Gospel: Matt 1:18-24) Blessed is she who believed

 

 

When I was working as a chaplain in a hospital I was talking to some of the nurses one day about Christmas and the topic of the Annunciation came up: that is, when the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and she conceived Jesus in her womb. One of them said, “It’s a nice idea. But it’s impossible!” I couldn’t help thinking, what does ‘impossible’ mean, when it comes to matters of faith. And in fact that is one of the things that the angel Gabriel said to Mary to help her to believe. ‘Your cousin Elizabeth in her old age, has herself conceived a son and she who was called barren is now in her sixth month, for nothing will be impossible for God.’ (Lk 1:36-37)

 

In the Bible there are several people who were called ‘blessed’ because of their faith.  Abraham was told that he would have a child and he believed, but he was 100 years old when it happened and his wife was in her nineties. By our way of thinking it couldn’t have happened, but he had faith and it did happen.

 

The angel Gabriel came to Zachariah, when he was performing his priestly duties and told him that his wife Elizabeth would conceive a son, even though she had been barren all her life and was now also an old woman. When the angel Gabriel told him this, he found it hard to believe and he questioned the angel. The angel Gabriel wasn’t impressed and said, ‘I am Gabriel who stand before God… Since you have not believed me, here is a sign for you. You will be struck dumb until the time comes for this to happen.’ (Lk 1:19-20). So even though he doubted, it still happened.

 

The angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her that she would have a child, but not by human means. She believed, even though she didn’t understand, and it happened. The angel reminded her that ‘nothing is impossible to God.’ All of these people and many others, were told to believe even though it didn’t make any sense to them and they did believe, without understanding. Elizabeth said to Mary, ‘Blessed is she who believed that the promises made her by the Lord would be fulfilled.’ I wonder would many of these things have happened if the people involved had refused to believe until they were sure, until they were able to know these things were true? They believed because God asked them to believe.

 

Today we are still asked to believe many things which we don’t understand. The temptation is to dismiss many of these things as being childish stories, just because they are not logical to us. But not understanding them is no reason to dismiss them. Why do many people dedicate themselves to a life of prayer locked up in a convent, or monastery, to a God that we cannot see? I don’t know, but they do.

 

How can we know that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is really present in the Eucharist and that it’s not just a symbolic ritual? I could probably give you an impressive theological explanation for it, but it wouldn’t convince you. In fact it wouldn’t convince me either, because we can not understand many of these things, but we do believe them. That is the difference between faith and reason. 

 

The truth is we can’t know these things, but we certainly do believe them. We believe them because God taught us these things through Jesus. And God continues to teach us many things through his Spirit, speaking to us through his Church, speaking to us through the Scriptures, speaking to us through modern day prophets.

 

There is a book and movie called The Case for Christ, by Lee Strobel. He was an investigative reporter for the Chicago Tribune. He and his wife Leslie were both staunch atheists. One evening when they were out for dinner, their daughter Alison starts choking on a piece of candy and she is in serious trouble. A nurse, called Alfie, comes to the rescue and saves Alison’s life. As Leslie is thanking her, Alfie says that it was God’s providence that she was there as she was not meant to be there that night. This catches Leslie’s interest and she begins to take an interest in Christianity. Long story short, she becomes a Christian. Her husband Lee is furious and he decides to set out on a campaign to prove that the case for Christ is a fraud.

 

He begins going to different experts in different areas to get proof. He talks to a psychologist asking him if it were possible that the Apostles were hypnotised into believing the resurrection. The psychologist says that would have been impossible. Then he goes to a physician to show that Jesus could have survived the crucifixion, but he also says that would have been impossible and hands him a copy of one of the major medical journals which has a whole article about it. The more research Lee does to disprove it, the more proof he gets of the reality. Finally one of his fellow journalists points out to him that he has more than enough proof to believe it was real, but that he is just being stubborn. Lee recognizes it and is also converted.

 

One of the more unpleasant tasks I have had as a priest was to stand up in front of the whole church after some of the horrific reports on child sexual abuse came out. I had my homily prepared, but I felt the Lord saying to me, ‘Just tell them why you are a priest.’ So I did just that and I said, ‘I have every reason to not be a priest when these scandals come out, but the reason I continue is because I believe. I believe that God is real, that heaven and hell are real, that the Eucharist is real, that the Scriptures are the word of God…’

 

Most of the events in the bible that we read about are real, although some are analogies. But these things really happened. They are not just stories.

 

As we come to celebrate the mystery of Christmas, and it certainly is a mystery, perhaps the best thing we could do is to say, ‘This is a very mysterious thing, which I don’t understand.  But I believe it, because the Lord has made it known to us.’

 

‘Blessed is she who believed that the promises made her by the Lord would be fulfilled.’ 

 

 

2nd Sunday of Advent Year A (Gospel: Matthew 3:1-12) Will God really forgive me?

 

Many people I come across live with the fear that maybe God won’t forgive them, or hasn’t forgiven them, for past sins. If God has forgiven me, why do the memories of past sins keep coming to the surface? I think a helpful analogy is this: if you can picture your soul. When we sin, it’s as if we wound our soul. When we are forgiven the wound is healed, but a scar remains. Those scars come back to us as memories. We remember the sin and wonder if God has really forgiven. There is a prayer that I often pray after Communion. People always ask for it.

 

In the comfort of your love, I pour out to you my Savior,

The memories that haunt me, the anxieties that perplex me,

The fears that stifle me…

 

Another concern that goes with that question is whether I am now less acceptable to God. I have often heard people say, “I am a disappointment to God.” We are never a disappointment to God for something we have done. God knows what we are going to do before we do it. What matters most is that we come back and ask for forgiveness. The only way we can be a disappointment to God is if we reject him forever. That is not what God wants for any of us.

 

There is a great story in the Old Testament about King David. David was considered one of the greatest kings of ancient Israel. He conquered all around him and gave the appropriate honour to God, but that is not just why he was considered great. One day, when he was at the height of his power, David was taking a walk on the roof of his palace when he noticed a beautiful woman taking a bath in a nearby garden. He enquired who she was and his officials told him “She is Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” David already had many wives, but he decided that even though she was the wife of another, he wanted her. So he ordered her to be brought to him and he slept with her.

 

Some time later she sent him a note to say that she was expecting. Now David realised that he would be found out. So he had her husband Uriah sent for. Uriah was away fighting for David at the time. When Uriah returned, David asked him how the battle was going, etc. Then he had Uriah dine with him and told him to go home and rest that night and that he would send him back to the battle the next day. But it says that Uriah did not go to his wife, but slept at the door of the palace. Maybe he smelt a rat.

 

The next day, realising that Uriah had not spent the night with his wife, David invited him to have dinner with him in the evening and made sure that he had plenty to drink. Again he told him to go and spent the night in his house and that he could return to battle the next day. But it says that even though he had plenty to drink, he did not spend the night with his wife.

 

The following day, having realised that he did not go home, King David wrote a letter to Uriah’s commanding officer and asked Uriah to take it with him, back to the battle. In the letter King David told his commanding officer to place Uriah at the worst of the fighting and then to pull back, so that Uriah would be killed. So Uriah took the letter—his own death warrant—and returned to the battle and was killed. King David then took Bathsheba as his own wife.

 

So now you have lust, jealousy, adultery, deceit and murder, by the so-called great King David. So why is he called a great king? Because God loves David He is not going to let David get away with this, so he sends the prophet Nathan to David who tells him a story. Nathan says, “There was once a very rich man in a town who had all the sheep, cattle and wealth he could want. There was also a poor man who had just one little lamb, and he loved the lamb as one of his own family. One day a visitor came to the rich man, but rather than taking one of his own animals, he took the poor man’s lamb and killed it for a meal.” Then it says that when King David heard this he sprang to his feet and said, whoever has done this deserves to die for such a crime. And then the prophet Nathan says, “You are the man.”

 

Now here is the thing. What makes David such a great king is what happened next. When Nathan points the finger at David and says, ‘You are the man,’ instead of having Nathan killed for accusing him as many other kings might have done, David says, ‘I have sinned against the Lord,’ and he repents. That is why David was considered a great king. He was big enough to repent and acknowledge that he had done wrong.

 

What God did to David after this is also interesting. We might imagine that God would have David struck down, or removed as King, but no. David is punished, and the child that Bathsheba conceives dies. Then David takes Bathsheba as his wife, but then Bathsheba has another child by David and that turns out to be Solomon, the king who brings a reign of peace to Israel and also builds the temple.

 

So, God is saying a lot to us through this story. First, the importance of acknowledging our own wrongdoing. Secondly, that even when we have done wrong God can and will still work through us, bringing good even out of the worst mistakes we make. The important thing is that we do acknowledge our sins.

God confronts us when we sin because He loves us. He knows that sin hurts us and so God asks us to confess, so that we may be healed.

 

Moses was called to lead the people of Israel out of slavery. But when Moses was a young man, he saw one of his own people fighting with an Egyptian and he killed the Egyptian. The next day he realized he had been seen and so he fled the country. About 60 or so years later, God called Moses to lead the people of Israel from Egypt. Moses sin was not an obstacle to God.

 

Jesus freed Mary Magdalene from seven spirits and she had a bad reputation to begin with. And yet Jesus granted her the grace of being the first person to see Jesus after the resurrection. What a privilege! She is called the Apostle to the Apostles, because she then went to the Apostles to tell them what she had seen, although they did not believe her.

 

St. Peter denied Jesus three times and yet after he repented, God made him the first pope and leader of the Church.

 

What do these things tell us? Not only does God forgive us when we repent of sins, but God can still use us in amazing ways. Our sins are not an obstacle to God. The important thing is that we do repent of them.