I always find it both amazing and amusing how in the presidential election they will go through the history of each candidate with a fine-tooth comb in the hope of finding some small thing to discredit him, or her. It’s as if they are looking for the perfect person who is not allowed to have any defects. If they do find anything in their past such as smoking dope when they were a teenager, or something similar, they present this as a reason for him or her to be unsuitable for president now, as if you could find someone who didn’t have defects. Modern day media tends to do the same, gloating over the sins of an individual while showing no mercy to that person for the mistakes they have made.
In contrast to that we have almost the opposite presented to us in today’s Gospel. Peter is confronted by Jesus in a loving but painful way, when Jesus asks him three times ‘Do you love me?’ Why did Jesus do this, since He knew that Peter loved him? Jesus was making Peter face his own weakness, the weakness that caused him to publicly swear that he never knew Jesus. This happened during Jesus’ trial when Peter tried to stay close to Jesus, but he was overcome with fear when individuals realised he was one of Jesus’ followers and then he denied ever knowing Jesus. After this happened it says that Peter went outside and wept bitterly, because of course he didn’t want to do this, but he was overcome by fear.
In asking Peter three times ‘Do you love me,’ Jesus was helping him to heal, but also making him face his sin, his denial. Jesus wasn’t going to pretend that this never happened, because if He did, it would have continued to haunt Peter for the rest of his life. Had God really forgiven him. Would this scandal come to light? Instead, Jesus confronts Peter with it and makes him face it. And then Jesus makes this same Peter the first pope. Jesus was saying, ‘I know you let me down because of your own weakness/fear; but that is not an obstacle for me. Now face it and then I can really work through you.’ It is an extraordinary thought that Jesus wasn’t afraid to make Peter the first pope, even when he knew that Peter had denied him. Our weaknesses are not an obstacle for God.
It is because the Lord loves us that he challenges us with our weaknesses. We want to just gloss over them and pretend that mistakes never happened, but that doesn’t really help us. If we are to heal and grow then we must face up to our weaknesses, which is difficult and painful, but it’s also what helps us to grow.
In the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, the first step to recovery is to acknowledge your weakness/addiction and that you are powerless over it. Only then can you begin to continue in the right direction. This is also one of the reasons the Lord gives us the gift of being able to confess what we have done in total secrecy, so that we can heal. The idea that all our sins are totally forgiven by God if we ask for forgiveness, is a hard thing to grasp, and many of us struggle to believe that this could really be so. And yet that is what the death of Jesus on the cross is all about: the forgiveness of sins. That forgiveness has already been won for us; we just have to ask for it.
There is a lot more freedom in admitting that we are weak when we come before God, than in trying to prove we are perfect. If we had to be perfect it would put enormous pressure on us. Part of the freedom that our faith gives us is to realise that it’s ok to be weak, to have made mistakes. Ultimately we rely on the power of God and not on ourselves and that certainly is a relief. It also means that I don’t have to reach a certain standard of perfection to be pleasing to God. All God asks me to do is try and when I fall to repent of it.
That is also why God gave us confession, because in his wisdom He knows that we need to confess, to name the sins we have committed. If it was enough to just tell God you are sorry yourself, then why do people come after decades to confess a serious sin and then cry when they hear the words of absolution. They will have told God many times that they are sorry, but it is the naming of those sins that brings the healing. Also it takes humility to come before a priest, God’s instrument, to confess. That humility is part of the healing.
At the last supper Jesus also referred to Peter’s fall:
‘Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat, but I have prayed for you Simon that your faith will not fail. And when you have turned back you must strengthen your brothers.’ (Luke 22:31-32)
Jesus knew Peter would fall, but that fall also served its purpose. It humbled Peter, so that he would be more aware of how much He depended on God’s strength, not his own. It also meant that he would be able to sympathise with the other Apostles who also betrayed Jesus. He would be able to encourage them, as he had the same experience himself. If he hadn’t fallen, he may well have looked down on the others who had betrayed Jesus, but on the contrary, he understood them and was able to strengthen them.
In his letter to the Corinthians, St. Paul writes:
Praise be to God… who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble, with the same comfort we have received from God. (2 Cor 1:3-4)
This is why the Lord keeps inviting us to come back to him, to confess what we have done wrong, so that we can be free and so that we can live in peace. The weaknesses we struggle with, serve their purpose. They keep us humble.
We generally tend to think that the less sins we commit, the more pleasing we will be to God and that God is disappointed with us when we sin. I have heard so many people use that word disappointed. God is not disappointed with us and God doesn’t love us any less. In a mysterious way the Lord allows us to struggle with certain weaknesses, as they serve a purpose.
Think of St. Paul, who was a highly educated and high energy kind of person. We would call him a high achiever. Through his work many people were converted and many extraordinary miracles were worked, including at least one person being brought back to life. And yet he talks about a ‘thorn in the flesh,’ some weakness that he had, which caused him great humiliation. Like most of us, he felt that he would serve God and be more pleasing to God, if he could get rid of it. He says that he prayed, begged, God to take it away from him:
Because of these surpassingly great revelations, so to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me, but He said my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ (Cor 2:12-7-10).
‘My power is made perfect in weakness.’ What a strange thing to say. To our way of thinking it makes no sense. How could our weakness be useful to God? Because as long as we are aware of our weakness, we are also aware of how much we need God. That is why we should never become discouraged by our weaknesses. Satan tries to discourage us and convince us that we are displeasing to God, a disappointment, but the Lord says the exact opposite. What is important is that we try.
‘Peter do you love me?’ ‘Lord you know everything, you know that I love you.’
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