In
December 2005 it was announced on the Irish news that a man called
Denis Donaldson from Northern Ireland, one of Sinn Féin’s top men (Sinn Féin is the political wing of
the IRA), confessed to having been a British spy for twenty years.
People were amazed that this could happen. It seems that he could not live with his conscience any longer and so he came out
into the open and confessed his double life. He then had to go into hiding, and sadly, though
not surprisingly, he was killed four months later. God be
merciful to him. I remember thinking at the time that he must
have been living in terrible fear. Fear of being hunted down
and killed. He had betrayed many, and now he would be afraid of
what they would do to him. I couldn’t help feeling sorry for
him.
2000
years earlier on Holy Thursday night, out of fear the Apostles had
all abandoned Jesus, who they believed was the Son of God.
Judas had betrayed him for money. Peter tried to be faithful,
but ended up publicly swearing that he never knew Jesus. They
all betrayed him. Now after Easter they are locked in the upper
room afraid. Why are they afraid? One: because they could
face the same punishment as Jesus since they were his associates.
Two: perhaps they were also afraid of what God would do to them.
They had betrayed the Son of God. It is a very human response
to be afraid of God when we feel we have betrayed him in some way, by
the way we live, or by something we have done.
Then
something beautiful happens. Jesus is suddenly standing with
them in the room and he says: ‘Peace be with you.’ The
first thing he does is to take away their fear. There are no
words of condemnation for having abandoned him a few days before.
There are no words of judgement on how they were unable to be
faithful. Instead: ‘Peace be with you.’ ‘It’s
alright.’
I
don’t know about you, but I can certainly say that I have often
felt that I have betrayed Jesus and indeed sometimes wish I was not a
priest, when my own sinfulness gets the better of me. And in
case you think I am just trying to be holy by saying this, I am not.
I am a sinner. That is one thing that God has left me under no
illusions about. Sometimes I think it would be better for me
not to be a priest as I would not have to deal with what is sacred.
I could run and hide, so to speak. Think of Peter when Jesus
worked the miracle of the great catch of fish. Peter’s
reaction was, ‘Leave me Lord I am a sinful man.’ Yet when
Jesus appears to the Apostles, the first thing He does is to put them
at ease. ‘Peace be with you.’
Each
time in the mass when we recall this wish of Jesus to give us his
peace—which is not just a universal prayer for peace, but a
reminder of what Jesus said to his followers—He is saying, ‘Do
not be afraid, because I am not here to condemn you, even if you
deserve to be condemned. Peace be with you.’ God only
wants us to come closer to him and to know that He is not going to
act as we do to each other, with frowns or giving out. He knows
what we are like. He knows that we betray him, but He still
tells us to be at peace. I for one, find that very comforting.
Think
too of Thomas who in his grief at the death of Jesus, would not take
the words of others to convince him that Jesus was alive. When
you are grieving you don’t want someone else to give you false
hope, because it is too painful. And then when Jesus did appear
to him He was so kind in helping him to believe. No giving out,
but instead Jesus offered Thomas to put his finger into his wounds,
so that he would believe. No condemnation for not being good
enough; only encouragement. That is characteristic of the Lord:
He always encourages us and assures us that He is with us to help us
in every way.
Today
we also celebrate Divine Mercy Sunday, which very much ties into
this. The Lord is only interested in showing us his
extraordinary mercy. And no matter how much we have sinned or
turned our back on the Lord, it only takes the slightest reaching out
on our part to open the flood gates of his mercy. That is what
the Lord teaches us.
‘Peace
be with you. Do not be afraid.’
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